Posted in Ramblings of a Single Dad

Be Willing to Walk Away

This is a very true post.

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

Brock, a seasoned salesman, was telling me about a car he almost purchased many years ago. He was ready to sign but when the dealer wouldn’t acquiesce to the desired terms, Brock stood up and walked out. He knew that in order to be successful in any negotiation, you have to be willing to walk away.

 

As he finished his story, I thought about the times in my life when I was willing to walk away:

 

The first (and second and third) dates with men I was curious about but not invested in.

The job interviews and possibilities when I already had something paying the bills.

A blog submission to an outside site when they had already picked up at least one post.

The books from the library or the free movies on TV that failed to maintain my interest.

 

In every case, I was more relaxed and…

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Posted in Ramblings of a Single Dad

First Crush and the future

First crush, and relationships of the future
Good Evening blog readers,
My last entry was about relationships, and there is another part coming when it comes to friendship, I just have been struggling with something for some time now. I’m not really certain on how to go about writing this post, so I will do what I always do and just ramble on.

The way I look at dating someone today is much different than it was when I was younger. I’m older. I’m a lot more jaded. I’m also a lot more cautious. I was in an unhealthy relationship for a great many years with my ex. My heart is a mess, and there are times that I yearn for something simple. Something basic. Something pure, something that is beyond all of the crap I’ve gone through.

A great many moons ago I had my first crush on a girl, one who intrigues me to this day. I really started noticing her in 7th grade, but I developed my crush in 8th grade math class. I’m a shy person now, but back then it was a thousand times worse. I flirted with her, but never could get up the courage to ask her out. I did all sorts of crazy stuff to try and have a chance to talk with her. It is all I wanted to do.

To me she was beautiful, smart, and funny. I just never could find a way to articulate that to her. I tried to get up the courage to ask her to a dance, and at the dances I tried to get up the courage to ask her to dance. At one dance I did manage to get a picture with her. I doubt she has any idea how happy that made me at the time. Even today I still smile when I stumble upon that photograph when I am looking for something else.

I did finally get up the courage to call her and ask her out once, but I was shot down. It was really tough on me, and then I find out that my friend called her repeatedly trying to get her to go out with me. I wasn’t very happy with him, but he was tired of hearing me talk about her I’m sure.

I moved on after that, I had other crushes, and dated other people. She always held a spot in my heart though. I admit that I was jealous of the way she talked to one of the other band members, but maybe that’s because I wanted to be friends with her like that. I can’t really say for sure, high school was a confusing time.

I knew I always thought fondly of her, but when I thought she was getting married it really spun me out. It has taken me a couple of months to really recover from that. It was also a good indicator that those feelings had weakened, but they were still there.

With much thought and prayer I decided that I couldn’t ever ask her out again. I know she isn’t the same person she was back then, but I think that if I did date her I could still develop feelings for her as she is now. That isn’t really the problem though, the problem is I wouldn’t subject her to my baggage. I’m divorced, have 3 wonderful kids, and quite frankly I’m a little odd and crazy. The only thing that’s good about me is my love of Jesus and everything that comes with it.

The realization that she isn’t the same person really sunk in when I saw a throwback Thursday picture on Facebook. She is still as beautiful to me now as she was then, but I realize how long ago that was. How long ago I developed this crush on her. It’s been almost 20 years.

God has used the trip of dealing with old unattended emotions to help me realize something. He’s given me a glimpse of the kind of relationship I want to have. One that isn’t all messed up with physical intimacy. If God sees fit for me to find someone and marry her, I want it to be the kind of relationship I wanted to have with this girl. I want to be able to talk with her and just have fun. I really want her to be my friend. I’m really thankful that God has given me this view.

I’ve done so much wrong in so many relationships over the years. To have this kind of relationship means I’m going to have to step way outside of my comfort zone. I’m going to have to open up and wear my heart on my sleeve, and pray to God that she doesn’t destroy it. I’m going to have to learn to trust again. Maybe, just maybe if I can find this kind of relationship God can use it to help me show my children what a good relationship looks like. They haven’t had a very good example up until now.
Well that’s all I have to say. This has been a fairly emotionally taxing post for me.
Have a good night and God bless.

Scott

Posted in Ramblings of a Single Dad

A view on relationships

We all have had relationships. They have extremes going from really good to tragically bad. Thankfully most fall somewhere in the middle.

A disclaimer, I only ever write my own observations, and my own life experiences. It may include bits and pieces from materials I have read, but my thoughts are my own. That being said, I’m no excuse for professional counseling, I don’t have a degree or a license, and I didn’t’ even stay at a Best Western last night. Sorry, I’ve always wanted to say that.

I am an introverted person. I’m not the one you see in the middle of a large group of people making friends. I have a couple of really good friends, and that’s it. I know I could use some more, but I am picky when it comes to my friends.

Relationship Number 1 – With Christ Jesus

The first, and most important relationship that anyone can have is a relationship with God through Christ Jesus. I believe C.S. Lewis said it best when he said:

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
~C.S. Lewis”

When it comes to dating relationships there are multiple kinds out there. Sadly I’ve fallen as the bad party in a lot of these relationships.

Relationship Number 2 – Intimate and dating relationships

quote image

I don’t want to be alone.

There is the type of relationship that springs fourth from not wanting to be alone. Very recently I’ve had the encounter with a woman who was like this. She has 2 wonderful kids, and I dated her for a time. I wasn’t ready for it then, and I was a total mess so it didn’t work. I was entertaining the idea of dating her again, but I was hesitant because it always felt like she wanted to date me so she wouldn’t be alone. Don’t’ get me wrong, I’m certain she liked me, but it wasn’t a good fit.

A long time ago, before my ex-wife, this was me. I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted a partner. As I mentioned earlier, I am an introvert. I don’t have a lot of friends, and the ones I do I hold really close. I love them all as if they are my family. I wanted desperately to have a woman in this group so I wasn’t alone. In high school I couldn’t be alone. I always had a backup relationship ready for when I felt like the relationship was falling apart. I wasn’t like that to hurt the girls, but to protect myself.

Sex = Love

This type of relationship is often tied together with quick sexuality, and the ever so present sex is love mentality. This is something I still struggle with to this day, but nowhere to the extent that I did when I wore a younger man’s cloths. I was very active when I was younger, but I wasn’t active to “sleep around”. I’ve only ever had one or two one night stands. I don’t like being intimate with someone I have no feelings for. I have always confused having sex with someone as being in love with them. There are very few women I’ve dated that I actually loved. I can count on one hand that feeling.

Over Attachment

Sadly, those women that I did truly love felt the burden of over attachment from me. All I wanted to do was be with them. I was really clingy towards them, and when we broke up it would devastate me. I can think of two girls that this happened with. One of which was a girl I went to school with. When we broke up it devastated me. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t even stand to see her. I went out of my way to avoid any route that she might take. The town where I grew up is pretty small, so that meant going way out of my way. I would go as far as 5 miles out of my way, just so I wouldn’t see her. She accused me of stalking her, but it was the exact opposite. I had heard one day that she moved into apartments here in town, so I changed my route to not see her. Well sadly, she moved to the other set of apartments and I drove right past her. Yea that one hurt.

I’ve been on the receiving end of this as well. I dated a crazy girl my senior year in high school on and off a few times. She was obsessed with me. She would call me at all hours and would threaten suicide if I didn’t want to talk to her. It was really messed up. Thankfully, I was never like that about a girl.

On a bright point, I did end up coming to Christ as a result of my overly attached relationship.

Apathy and not wanting to be alone (again)

Several of the relationships I have been in have been filled with apathy. Sadly, my marriage was like that too. It’s the kind of relationship you get into because you kind of like the person, you can stand them, but they aren’t everything in the world to you. I was going to say that I’ve never been on the receiving end of one of these, but that’s not true. At the end my ex was like this towards me.

The other types of relationships are bad, but this is the worst. You are in this relationship merely for routine more than anything. It is just to check a box and have someone else to share things with, even if they aren’t the right person for you. Staying in this relationship tends to come from the fear of being alone and not being able to find anything better out there.

Unrequited love

This is the hardest and most devastating of all relationships, at least for me. I have had a crush on the same girl for almost two decades now. I noticed her in middle school, and she has always been my true ideal ever since.

Now that I’m divorced and have 3 kids, I don’t believe I am good enough for her. She loves the Lord and deserves someone that isn’t broken like me. I don’t talk to her often, though I’m friends with her on Facebook.

My feelings for her aren’t as strong for her as they once were, but they will never go away. I just have told myself I can’t act upon them no matter how much I may want to.

The Happy Normal Relationship full of love

While no relationship is perfect, this type of relationship may contain pieces of the above, but they have moved beyond them and has become something genuine. Two fallen broken people have come together and have scars that are compatible enough that they make it through the rest of their lives together.

This type of relationship is rare today. Even when married so many people focus on me, rather than us. That’s the real trick to these type of relationships. They chose to love the other person no matter what. This is what God wants all of our marriages to be like.

I was at the zoo with the kids this weekend, and I saw happy couples. It actually made me really sad because that is what I long for. Someone to share my joy and my pain with. Someone who will love the kids and treat them like the gifts they are.

Relationship Number 3 – Family & Children

Our family relationships are very important. They help define who we are. They can be good, or bad, but they define us. We are called to cleave, to separate ourselves from our parents when we get married. Marriages are meant to last forever and form a new family unit. It’s the way God designed it.

I believe that the most important family anyone should have is between them, their spouse, and their children. At least when they are married.

Our children are gifts, entrusted to us by God to raise in the way that they should go. They are to grow up and become their own people, leave the home, and start a life of their own.

In our society today, we treat our children as a burden, rather than a gift. We lock them at home so we can work and do other things that are important to us. We are raising a generation of latch-key children. So many of us, myself included at times, miss the point. We want to be friends with our children, or we want to rule our children with an iron fist. Many kids don’t have rules because all they believe we are supposed to do is love our children.

In the book of Proverbs Chapter 13 verse 24 it says:

“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Proverbs 13:24”

I believe we’ve gone from one extreme to another as a society, and there is a place in between where we should be. I often struggle to find this. I fall more towards the totalitarian side than the love side, but I am constantly working on tempering that. The more I can temper that the more I see my children grow. Truth in love is the key, I just don’t have it figured out quite yet.

 To be continued:

I’m going to split this into a second part and do another post soon on the different types of friendship relationships, as well as acquaintances, and maybe strangers if I’m feeling daring.

 

Feel free to leave comments below with your thoughts and ideas. I welcome an exchange of ideas, and alternate viewpoints.

Posted in Ramblings of a Single Dad

Breaking reality, an honest look at things I don’t want to see

Good Evening,

I read a blog post  yesterday about something called Gaslighting. It is basically a form of abuse used to make someone believe something that isn’t true. It shapes their reality to where they are the ones doing the wrong things, but its really the other person putting their guilt on them.

I have put a lot of thought into this. First I wondered if I did this to my ex. I can’t think of a time I may have done this, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t do it unintentionally.  I always try to look at myself first. I like to admit things that I do wrong, and focus on how to learn and change them.

I’m still unpacking what, when, and how my ex did this to me. A 10 year relationship is a long time go through, and now that I know what I’m looking for I suspect over time I will find more examples.

For those of you who don’t know, I met my ex-wife on AOL. Yes good old America On-Line. That brings back some memories. Being the kind of guy I am, I wanted to “rescue” someone from their situation. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker that is for certain. She had moved up to live with her grandparents in Michigan because, according to her, her mom’s side of the family wasn’t good to her. Then to top it off, after our first couple of dates I had to take her to the hospital because her heart was bothering her. Her grandma tried to give her some nitro and I flipped out on her. In retrospect I majorly over-reacted.

She took the opportunity to tell me how horrible her family was to her, and that her dad and uncle were going to shoot me. Looking back, I’m not certain that they ever actually intended to do so, but she had me convinced they were out to get me.

Anyhow, after about a week of being together I had to help her get a place because it was obviously not safe for her to be with her grandparents. At least in my mind it wasn’t. I was going to protect her. I was easy to manipulate. I was still devastated from a terrible break up 6 months prior.

So after being with her for about two months, we broke up. She called me 2 nights later saying that there was this crazy guy at the door telling her that she loved him, and blah blah blah she didn’t feel very safe. So I go up and “protect” her from him. Further building that dependence. We break up again in late spring, but shortly after the break up we find out she’s pregnant. Me, being the kind of person I am, wanted to be a part of my child’s life. This is what really tied the two of us together for the rest of the time we were together.

We went to the church, and they said we should get married, or give Kenny up for adoption. I couldn’t give my child up for adoption, it would have been easier to cut off one of my arms. I’ve always been one to take responsibility for the things that I do, and I knew I would love him.

So we stay together for awhile, but break up and get back together a few times after Kenny is born. I didn’t really want to stay with her, but I didn’t want to abandon Kenneth. My dad left when I was little, and I knew the trauma that caused to me. I couldn’t do that to another life. I wouldn’t do that to another life. Low and behold she ended up pregnant … again. This stuff happens when you live together and do stupid things. So I proposed to her, not so much out of love, but commitment. I figured we could make anything work with enough elbow grease, we could be happy.

So she wasn’t able to make the type of money I could make, so we decided she would be a stay at home mom because day care was more expensive than anything she would make.

So she became dependent on me, and we became dependent on government assistance. Our home was nasty, it wasn’t cleaned, dishes weren’t done, laundry wasn’t done, the floors weren’t swept, etc unless I took care of them. She had me convinced for a long time it was my fault the home looked like that. All I could do to handle the situation was to check out because I don’t like to fight. I don’t like being angry. I forgot to mention earlier, but she didn’t have her driver’s license either. I tried to teach her how to drive, but every time I took her out she almost killed me. We had friends from church that taught her how to drive, but she never would take the road test. She was to nervous. So yet another way she was dependent on me.

Things were OK until we moved to Jackson. She became involved with some unscrupulous people there in our trailer park. Things would end up missing, presumably sold. I also believe this is when she started sleeping around. I have no idea what she did with the stuff or the money she received from it. I imagine she had some kind of addiction I don’t know about. At this point I will probably never know the truth behind it. Moving along though, she convinced me that all of the arguments were my fault. That keeping the house clean should be my responsibility not hers. She “took care of the kids all day, and it was all she could do to take care of them.”

Of course, both of the kids start school and things around the house don’t get any better. In fact they get worse. She became so hooked to the internet, that nothing was done. There was times she even missed picking the kids up from the bus stop, and they walked home. Mind you this was a second grader and a kindergartner.

For the sake of honesty, I struggled with a pornography addiction throughout our entire relationship. I know it is demeaning and wrong, but she had just as much of an addiction with it as I did. Every time I wanted to put in controls she shot me down because I was “being controlling”. In the latter half of our relationship, that was what she would tell me every time I asked her to do anything. I was being a control freak. I will admit I can be a control freak, but only when I’m really insecure about things. I have always made an effort to not be one. Somewhere along the line she figured this out and started using it to manipulate me.

So the affair that I’m 100% certain of started mid 2010 I believe. I came home one day from work and saw a message on her computer from a guy saying “hey you, I love you.” So I questioned her about it, and she convinced me that I was over-reacting and it was just a cousin of hers I didn’t know. I was being irrational and it was nothing to worry about.

So fast forward 10-11 months. We’ve been fighting non-stop. Mostly about cleanliness issues. We had moved out of our last place because of mold, but they had to replace everything inside of it. It was that poorly taken care of. It was all new everything when we first moved in. The new place was starting to look like the old place, and the unit we were renting was brand new. No one had lived in it before.

Things came to a T early one morning, right after the kids had got on the bus. She was ready to be out of our relationship, she had found a new man to take care of her. I’m pretty sure she was trying to get me to hit her in that last fight. If you know me, I won’t hit a woman. Anyhow, she was up in my face screaming, spitting, and raised her fists to hit me multiple times. I was convinced I was in the wrong, but I told her I wanted a divorce. I couldn’t handle all of the fighting over everything. I then proceeded to rip the internet out of the house because its all she wanted to do. I took off to calm down. When I came home, I told her we needed to separate for awhile. I was expecting her to run off to one of her friends homes for a few days so things could go over and we both could calm down and assess things honestly. She shocked me when she said she was going to go stay with her sister in Texas. So she bought a train ticket with money from sources unknown to me, and took off to Texas the next morning.

It was at this point I found out about the affair. She had left her computer on. I went to shut it off, but Facebook was open with messages to her friend saying that I had beaten her and she was on the train to Texas. He then asked if I knew about “lover-boy” and she had said no. I started researching after that, and found out that she had been on the phone with this guy over the last year for 60 some odd days of talk time. She had been staying up all night talking to him, and then sleeping during the day when the kids weren’t at home. Its no wonder she didn’t have the patience to deal with them. I also found out that her sister lived just outside of Atlanta. Which she emphatically denied.

So my pastor talks to me the Monday after this, and God uses him to break me. After 6 weeks I convince her to come home, and work on the marriage. She is pregnant with Sam at this point. We went to marital counseling, and she refused to say if she slept with “lover-boy”, but I forgave her as if she did anyhow. She kept claiming that there was 1 day that she couldn’t remember. So eventually I start trusting her again, and things seem to be getting better, but here is where the deception really began. She had created a “secret” Facebook account, and was calling the guy at his mom’s house so I wouldn’t see his number on the bill. Eventually I figure it out and confront her on it. She says that he won’t stop calling her, blah blah blah, and convinces a friend of this by screaming in the phone at him while our friend was there.

Such a deceptive tactic. I believed her. It was enough to make me believe she had changed. it was all some elaborate show. A couple months later, she took off with the kids to be with “lover-boy”. She tried so hard to get me to believe that she was lost with her sister in Arkansas, and that her phone wasn’t working. She even went so far as to try and convince me that “lover-boy” had guns and was out to kill all of us. Even after I retrieved the children, she was still trying to get me to believe her. With emails and other things. The truth was known at that point.

I have screenshots and logs of all of that crazy stuff. Thankfully.

That is all I have for this evening.
Take care.

Posted in Ramblings of a Single Dad

Remnants of Marriage and the evidence of lies

As many of you know my ex-wife and I split up over a year ago when she took off with the kids. It was a very devastating time in my life and has led to some major changes in my life; the biggest of which is being a single dad of 3 wonderful kiddos.

Anyhow, when people get married their stuff becomes intertwined. Your stuff and their stuff becomes “our stuff”. When you get divorced more often than not one party moves out and the other stays. The one that leaves tends to take very little and the one that stays tends to end up with the “our stuff”.

This is the way it happened in my divorce. In the divorce decree it was ordered that the debts go with the person that they belonged to, but the stuff was granted to whomever it was in possession of.  Needless to say I ended up with the “our stuff” stack because I was the one who stayed.

I made a post over a year ago about cleaning out my storage unit. That got rid of a ton of the “our stuff” stack before the divorce was even finalized. However, I moved to be closer to the family and a lot of the stuff that was left in the shed, or in the house was shoved into bins or boxes and stored away. My shed is currently full of this kind of stuff. I have no idea what is out there, and what kind of surprises I may find.

This evening I was going through a bin that was hastily thrown together and I came across some of “our stuff”. Lots of little garbage papers and old bills, an old copy of my ex’s state ID, and a bunch of unsent thank you letters, Christmas cards, and birthday cards. My ex was the one who mailed all of this stuff out, and it bothers me that they were never sent as there were perfectly good forever stamps on them that will never be used now. However, that is beside the point. I opened up the cards to see what was in there, and make certain there wasn’t any gift cards or money in them before tossing them into the destroy pile.

It seems like every time I find things like this I learn a little bit more of a lie from my ex-wife. In this case I found thank you letters for gifts for Sammy.  There were a few, but these are stark examples of the kind of things she was lying to people about.

The thank you card to my mom read:

“We wanted to send thanks to you for your Gift, to Samuel. –With Lots of love & appreciation ….” And then the names at the end of the card.

To her mom she wrote:

“Mom,

Thank-you for the Beautiful gifts you got James. They are Greatly Appreciated. I look forward to you meeting James when we move down to Louiville. I Cannot wait to move closer to you and the Family.” – Signed with just her name.

 

card picture
The cards from my ex. I deleted her name.

There are a few things that I’d like to note. First off I used all of her punctuation and capitalization, even though it was painful for me to do. Second there was a ton more thought put into the card for her mom than the one for mine. Third, notice the different names for the same child.

When I retrieved the older kids from her in Texas I was unable to get Samuel because she told everyone, including the police, that his name was James. The police wouldn’t take him from her and return him to me because I lacked the proof to substantiate my claim, even though they knew it was the same child. I’m not complaining that I didn’t get Sammy back then, God used it in my life to give me time to prep for him, and to give me time to work with Kenny and Chloe to deal with their emotions.

Anyhow, my point is it shows that she lied to me, and to her family for the entire pregnancy. She wanted to name him after her grandfather, but I wouldn’t do that because of the things she said happened because of him while she was a child. At this point I doubt the truth in those stories as well.

When you find out lies that a spouse or a partner has been telling you, and you start pulling the thread you find out more and more lies. Some people cannot live their lives without making someone feel sorry for them. When I met my ex, I had to “rescue” her from her family, but I often wonder if it was more of a trap for me. I love my kids dearly, but there are times I wonder how my life would be different if I wouldn’t have tied myself down with her.

Posted in Ramblings of a Single Dad

Fun times at Black Rock

 

 

Good Evening Everyone!

I haven’t had any time to sit down and write this until tonight. We went to Black Rock Medieval Festival this past weekend. We all had a blast.

First there was a quick trip to the ATM for cash. I wish I would have realized there was an ATM outside of the festival. It would have allowed us to get there right when they opened.

So I strapped Sammy into the extra-sturdy stroller and off we went into the festivities. It was $10 for my entry fee and the kids were free. It’s a great price for something fun and unique to do with the kids.

We went from shop to shop trying to do a scavenger hunt. The shops made the kids dance, or do other silly things to get their word for the papers we were given when we first arrived.

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Kenny dancing for the shop keeper.

We arrived just in time for the pirate sword fighting show. Kenny was hooked. I couldn’t resist heckling the announcer though. The whole crowd laughed.

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Real Life Sword fighting

A little later we walked by the jail, and I had the kids arrested. What fun is it to go to a medieval fest and not go into the jail? They were laughing the whole time.

jail time
The kids in jail

 

 

Sadly those are all the pictures I took. I was having way to much fun with the kids to use my phone.

The kids are hooked though. They want to dress up when they go next year. I love them so much. They are awesome!

Posted in Ramblings of a Single Dad

Milestones

Good evening everyone!

I promise this post to be less … depressing than the last one.Actually my lost post was very therapeutic for me. I felt so much better after putting all of my thoughts to “paper” as it were.

So anyhow, on to the post.

 Milestone number 1 – Weight-loss

So I have exciting news to report to all of my friends out there. I have broke the 40 pound weight-loss total I set for myself. I have another 24 pounds to lose before my Birthday so I can hit that milestone.  I am not back to where I was before my ex left the first time. Lord willing, I will be below where I was the last time I lost a ton of weight, that is only 23 more pounds to lose.  From my highest weight ever I am down more than 65 pounds. I feel fantastic.

This photo was taken when Kenny was just a little guy. It was one of the smallest points in my adult life. I believe I was down into the 240 pound range. One of my long term goals is to get back to this size by Christmas. By this time next year I hope to be even smaller still. I want to be able to run a 5k. There is so much I wish to accomplish.

Milestone Number 2: Accepted to Bachelor’s Program

I’ve always wanted to go back to school and finish my bachelor’s degree. I’ve never had the time or the resources to do this before. I am going for my Bachelor’s in Information Technology with a software emphasis. I am absolutely excited about this. The program will take me 2 to 3 years to finish.

Milestone Number 3: Single Parenting for over a year and I’m still alive.

I realize this isn’t really a good milestone, but I was so scared when I first started raising the three of them on my own. I wasn’t sure I could handle it. Especially when Sammy came home in May of 2013. I didn’t know how I was going to handle a 3 month old baby, let a lone a 9 year old and a 7 year old. We are doing pretty well for the most part.

Milestone Number 4: I actually had family pictures taken.

A special thanks to my sister for her help on this one. I wish I would have been smaller for the photos, but I am more than 40 pounds lighter than when they were taken. I have to admit, I feel a bit like George Costanza in this picture though. Luckily I don’t have his personality.

Just as exciting as milestones, GOALS.

I was never one to set goals in my life. I’ve always known they were important, but it was all I could do to just survive.

Short term goals

  • Lose another 24 pounds to put me below a huge milestone.
  • Finish my 70-410 certification
  • Go out on a date
  • Read a book
  • Finish first semester of college with high scores.

I know they aren’t phenominal goals, but the instant gratification monkey is strong with this one.  (Great article here: http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html)

6-18 Month goals

  • Get to a size 38 pair of pants. I can’t remember ever being below a 42.
  • Down to no more than 240 pounds
  • Run a 5k
  • Learn some type of sword fighting
  • Go to a comic-con

Long term goals (3-5 years)

  • Graduate college with my bachelors
  • Reduce my debt as much as I can
  • Learn to dance
  • Maintain weight-loss listed above.
  • Find a wonderful new partner that keeps me honest and marry her.

 

Well that is all I really have for this one. I am so excited to be starting on all of this.